STD testing experience

Posted 25 July 2019 in Sexual Health

Our returning guest blogger Hanna, 35, today talks about her experience getting STI tested.

A couple in bed looking stressed. Source: Shutterstock 259619195Well I never thought my last boyfriend and I were destined to be together forever, but we’d fallen into a comfy routine of watching box sets whilst eating take away. Plus, we’d both reached our mid-thirties and were cohabitating in relative contentment; or so I thought…

When I found out that his ‘work’ nights out were a string of one-night Tinder hook ups I suddenly had that dread that he’d left me with more than just the outstanding rent; so I started looking online for ways I could get tested, sharpish, and without anyone finding out.

It’s a mine field. The local G.U.M. (Genito-Urinary Medicine; and yes, I had to look it up) clinics open no longer than three hours at a time and the slots that are by appointment only are notoriously difficult to call through and get booked on to. I looked at the NHS home test kit, but due to a staff back log it would take 14 days to send me a kit out and then I wouldn’t get the results for 3-4 weeks. Well, the thought of what I could potentially be harbouring in my nether regions meant that I wanted results in days, not weeks, and certainly not over a month – so I tootled off to my local walk-in clinic.

Well it wasn’t the best start to the day as I had to take last minute half-day holiday as I couldn’t get in before 08:30 (my actual office start time) and I had no idea how long I’d be waiting there. I should be spending my half day holidays in a beer garden, not needing a beer by 10:30. To give the clinic its dues, the place was clean and the staff were very polite. I was the oldest in there by a fair age gap and was by far the most conspicuously fidgety but realised that college students don’t have to explain to their sixty-year-old male boss that they need between 1-3 hours for a personal issue.

Two and a half hours later I was on my way with the promise of the results being texted to me sometime in the next couple of weeks. I’ve never been so anxious about every text I received in that time.

A month later in the pub, after a few wines for courage, I admitted all this to my best friend. She then told me I could get a test kit delivered straight to my home, next day delivery and the results within a week – all for less than we spent in the pub that night. No stress, no time-off, no-one would know. No contest, right? Well I’m actually hoping for no knob-head boyfriends in future…

Want discreet home testing with quick results? Get your home test kit here; delivered within 24 hours* in discreet packaging. Safe, secure, sorted.

*to mainland UK

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